worst

Factory Girl

watching Factory Girl. i 'was' Edie for Halloween so i felt like watching it. not that i haven't seen it before, i love the film, i've just never been a fan of Warhol. he's completely overrated and a big bore to me. like, i know one *should* like him, it's pop cultures biggest no-no (besides not pretending to like all the old, 'cool' bands and icons no one gave a shit about until it was a rule to like'em, hipster-style. kinda like when you started smoking as a teen) not to praise him. but i can't find myself enjoying his character nor his art. Edie, however, intrigues me. i feel so bad for her. or now she's ashes, but when she was of flesh and blood. now what an asshole everyone was to her. all the 'men' (maggots) she surrounded herself with. yes Bob Dylan, i'm talking to you, amongst others. i'm surprised Manics haven't written a song about her. she seems like their type of gal, like Monroe and Traci Lords. 

Dylan, Lou Reed (Velvet Underground), Warhol and all the other men who fucked her up, well done!
anyways, she seemed so fragile and lonely. some things she sad i can/could relate to so much, or more or less.
'When you start at 20, you have a lot of nonsense to work out of your system.'
'It's not that I'm rebelling. It's that I'm just trying to find another way.'

'The very things I might have given in to, that demanded, that said, this is your life. I mean, this is your only way to survive, are the things I fought hardest to end. I can understand other people's situations in their own terms, but "they" still can't understand mine.'

'I act this way because that's the way I feel like acting. If people like it, fine. If they don't, that's their problem.'

whatever, whatnot.
I, obviously never knew Warhol, but this is my take on him too, with Edie's words.
'The way those sons-of-bitches took advantage of me. Warhol is a sadistic faggot.'

'I'm a little nervous about saying anything about the artist, because it kind of sticks him right between the eyes, but he deserves it. He really fucked up a great many people's, young people's lives.'

                                   this entry is pretty pointless. i just wanted to write.

Daisy and Lisa

i wonder how Girl, Interrupted have turned out had Parker Posey ( from Dazed & Confused and The Doom Generation) accepted the role as Lisa Rowe? I believe she would've done a good job, but she said she didn't 'care for' the character and passed. 

I still think Brittany Murphy as Daisy Randone is the best thing about the whole film, and she should've had the Oscar for best supporting actress. hands down. 

The Bridge

i have always hesitated to watch this documentary, but now i'm glad i did. it was painful and sad but it was also very warm and honest and lacked of sugarcoated bullshit.
it was in-your-face real and brutal and it made me feel very empathetic both towards the people who committed suicide and the ones left behind, telling their stories.
a mother and father saying that they understood their sons choice and that they hoped he was free now. that him being 'kept alive' in a hospital etc would have been a much more cruel choice. he didn't want to live, he had told them that and he had said that he was gonna leave, just not when. 

a mother and a victims sister telling their p.o.v and describing the act as brave in terms of her doing what she really felt was the only way out of all the pain (from being a paranoid schizophrenic) caused her every day.
friends telling stories of first feeling betrayed and angry but then sad, more understanding and less judgmental. also, almost all of them felt compassion and thought of the dead persons own right to choose his or her way to go, when and why. their own egos of wanting to keep a person that determined to die did not over shine their way of seeing it out of the victims perspective.

one guy and his father being interviewed simultaneously, telling their side of it all. this guy, 24 years old, jumped off the bridge and changed his mind half way down, telling how he turned his body so that he would land feet first, holding his breath and focusing on swimming upwards, did he survive the break from the water. he did live, he was conscious when found and he told his story with an astonishing feeling. his despair and then his choice and his rescue. he survived due to a seal swimming around him, keeping him afloat after he had reached the surface. it was odd to hear it all, and even more odd to hear that he survived, since over 97% of people jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge doesn't live. it's rare, and to hear this guy, who actually changed his mind, live through it was heartfelt. 

the most talked about story in the documentary was that of Gene, a guy who had wanted to die since an early age. when his mother passed away, he told everyone he knew that he was gonna go for it at some point. the footage and gifs of him jumping (seen here below), spread out like an eagle, only back first, is one of the most re-blogged gifs on tumblr and that footage is famous/notorious. it was the end-scene in the film. 

On May 11, 2004, while the film crew was filming, Gene appeared at the Golden Gate Bridge and walked back and forth over the bridge for ninety-three minutes, which the crew saw as very 'touristy'. eventually, he climbed the railing, sat for a few seconds, then stood with his back to the water and fell. Gene then fell with no movement at all to the water in 4 seconds traveling at 75 mph. Gene's friend said : 'Why he chose the Bridge? I don't know. Maybe there was a certain amount of release from pain, by pain. Maybe he just wanted to fly one time...'

there are many other heartbreaking but fantastic quotes in this film, all said by the people who have experienced the loss of someone jumping from the bridge.  it is some really heavy stuff and it makes you think. and i, for one, who have never been judgmental towards people who decides to end their lives, is now more convinced than ever of the terrible pain the person actually doing it must feel. i hope they all are freed from all their pain now. and, if the film serves us right, the families who have decided to participate are very open, warm and honest and they don't hold grudges or feel anger towards their lost ones. 

the film shows both actual jumps leading to death w/o showing any gore nor glamorizing suicide, people who are being saved in the last second, people who doesn't hesitate but just jump out of the blue, people praying and hesitating before actually taking the leap and everything in between. 

the film was made over 13 months, with over 10,000 hours of footage and 24 jumps (not all shown in the film). the crew rescued six people from jumping but stated that in most cases there where no warning signs or time to do so.  

when making a film like this, of course some people want to see it as 'morbid', 'tasteless', 'disturbing' and such. others, like me, see it as reality. and i also saw it as sensitive and unique. after all, the Golden Gate Bridge is the second most notorious suicide-spot in the world, with the highest percentage of deaths by suicide. this is not a drama-film, a horror-film or a glorifying film, this is a true story.
what one makes of it after seeing it in whole is up to oneself. me, i felt like reading more on the topic, hoping people will get better care so that these things don't need to happen and most of all, if i could, wanting to prevent people from actually deciding to end their lives. i know i can't, but going out of the film with such thoughts is a positive thing, and a better one, imho, than passing judgments on the jumpers and their families and seeing it as 'taking a cowards way out'. anyhow, narrow minded people will always roam the earth, but one will never know another persons pain or know the feeling of complete emptiness, despair or that 'dead end'-thought before deciding to end their life. therefore i don't see it fit passing judgements or talk bad about these individuals. lending a helping or supporting hand is always better than spreading hatred and vile words. the end.

(also watch the documentary about the Japanese 'Suicide Forest' at Mount Fuji and compare these two. just a suggestion.)

brilliance.

i just managed to *not* persuade some people of the brilliance (imho) of the film The Man From Earth. some 'not-all-that-impressed / wtf-is-this-shit?!'-people around me atm. blasphemy! me, i love it as always, if not more. i think it's one of the best 'think!'-films out there. give it a try. if i get to choose. especially if you're a hardcore religious person. ;)
The Man From Earth

Lost & Delirious

movie tip. i love this film. and not only cause it has Piper Perabo in it. it's a tragic, both modern and classic, love story with a twist. just watch it and you'll understand. 

I'm a raptor!

well, well...

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