love

 The total hapiness. way throwback. <3

gods, monsters, bel air and electricity

black coffee

day dreaming
chain smoking

always laughing

always talking

night swimming

beach walking

always silent

never talking

i pour a black a cup of coffee

i remain the same

did i tell you that i love you?

insomnia

and it's back with a venegance. this fucking thing that creeps up on me every night and makes me panic and releases anger and sadness, frustration and severe physical pain. 

i'm actually starting to worry about not being able to sleep from the moment i wake up after the few hours i get in the late morning hours, and the circle continues. my brain just won't take a rest at night. it's like there are millions of bats flying around inside me, or black butterflies if you may. every problem i have, real or imaginative, every thing i've ever done, or the things i didn't do, the right choices and the ones i did wrong, the right things i have said, should have said and the things i completely messed up with that uncensored mouth of mine, they are all there as soon as i lay my head on the pillow. i toss and i turn, i get up, i go back to bed. i keep having conversations with my own mind and all i want to do is turn off my head. needless to say it doesn't work. another sleepless night and an upcoming day with an aching body, a head that wants to explode and a stupid zombie-esque glaze in my eyes. it's so great, being dead like me.

nothing and everything...ride

I was in the winter of my life- and the men I met along the road were my
only summer. At night I fell sleep with visions of myself dancing and
laughing and crying with them. Three years down the line of being on an
endless world tour and my memories of them were the only things that
sustained me, and my only real happy times. I was a singer, not very
popular one, I once has dreams of becoming a beautiful poet- but upon an
unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a
million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again-
sparkling and broken. But I didn't really mind it because I knew that it
takes getting everything you ever wanted and then losing it to know what
true freedom is.

When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I had
been living- they asked me why. But there’s no use in talking to people who
have a home, they have no idea what its like to seek safety in other
people, for home to be wherever you lie your head.

I was always an unusual girl, my mother told me that I had a chameleon
soul. No moral compass pointing me due north, no fixed personality. Just an
inner indecisiveness that was as wide and unwavering as the ocean. And if I
said that I didn't plan for it to turn out this way I’d be lying- because I
was born to be the other woman. I belonged to no one- who belonged to
everyone, who had nothing- who wanted everything with a fire for every
experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that
I couldn't even talk about- and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness
that both dazzled and dizzied me.

perfect cover

this!

scribble, scribble, scribble...

ok, so I'm gonna try and write some stuff in here too and not just post random pics of no interest for no one but myself. sound good? i'm asking the, possible, only person who's reading this.

i feel completely drained atm, all sick and shit. anyone wanna borrow an exploding head, a runny nose and a sore throat? no takers? ah, well. 

New Slang

'new slang, when you notice the stripes. the dirt in your fries. 

hope it's right when you die. old and bony.'

this video features my all time fav ANTM-contestant Elyse Sewell. she used to date Marty from The Shins before he beat her up. douche.

the wonder that is Elyse: