Doll Parts. Bad Skin. Doll Heart.

17.6.14

He's not dead.

Richey Edwards - best article ever!

http://wizzley.com/manics-richey-james-missing/

14.6.14

Mega shark and Giant Octopus vs planes.

don't fly!

8.6.14

Cecilia

i wish i had my the virgin suicides-book here. i got the urge to re-read it again...again.

'when she jumped, she probably thought she'd fly.'

7.6.14

'i had wings once. they were strong. they could carry me above the clouds.

but they were stolen from me.'

5.6.14

tell me no!. tell me to fuck off, get away, move out of your sight, bugger off, split...etc, whatever, whatnot, but do not leave me hanging or play any games with me. ever. u get me?! good. i'm a straight shooter and i don't want anything but that in return.

this is both a future thing, a present thing and a note to those from the past. it doesn't matter. shooooot me hard rather than a loose shot in the leg. just saying. i'll survive, so don't be a c**t.

'you're like a stone hangin around my neck, see,

cut it loose before it breaks my back, see.'

4.6.14

dreams and nightmares.

note to self: do not read about bridges, jumpers and think about former and existing friends before going to sleep! it'll not end good. right now i'm trying to shake the feeling that this dream wasn't for real, but actually a work of my screwed fiction-mind. dang!

brain-spin and a love for now compared to June last year. i still have the black and grey clouds, but destructive spirals has been somewhat eliminated. gawd i've met some weird people, and prolly been considered the weird one by some (or lots), but i can safely say i love not living in my home town anymore. wherever i may be, i have no love for that city what so ever, and when it comes to the citizens of it, i think i, approx, miss about 10 or so. you know who you are. as for many others, i'm so glad i don't know you anymore, or have to see you whenever i go anywhere. i have never met so many loose mouths in my life as i've done these last years. not even in high school! sometimes it's ok to have a loose mouth but ffs make sure what comes out of it is in fact, at least, close to the truth.

ok, no more negative things. except that i don't have a matress on my bed in my London-flat. lovely. rented furnished, gets no matress. seems legit. :/ ouch and ouch.

ok, off to M & S or Pret for some grub before school. ta-ta.

Happy Angelina!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY gorgeous, fantastic, amazingly talented Angelina!

25.5.14

rambling.

most things in my life these past 2-3 years have been the result of bizarre series of events or based upon bad decisions and it's only as of lately (since late summer 2013) that i've come to sense with most of it. i have had to cut out, mend, re-think, lose and change a lot of things and the result has been of mixed emotions and many regrets, but also lessons, good things and wake-up calls. i know i can come across a certain way at times, and not a good way, but most of it comes from awkward- and nervousness. i wish people knew that but as i don't come with a manual, i can not assume that anyone would know how my approach and attitude genuinely is and how i would like to be perceived. the same goes (for the) other way around, and that's why i prefer straight shooters and honesty. i also prefer second, third and tenth chances, just as i give them out. to an extend, of course, i don't expect people i've treated badly to keep coming at me, but deleting naivety and evilness, i think people are mostly at their best when you've met them a couple of times and you can relax a bit around each other...etc.

emotions, feelings, things of wrong material at the right time (or right material at the wrong time) can be a big hindrance, but if one keeps on trying to build what one wants it can, hopefully, become that at one point or another.

i should stop rambling now since i really should pack. 12 hrs left in Sweden and i would lie if i said i wasn't ambivalent, nervous and hesitant. ah, well. i'm out for now. my suitcase is screaming my name.

24.5.14

move!

ah ok. now that i'm moving, again, (this time to London) i'm gonna keep this blog going a bit more.

i feel extremely awkward at the moment. like, new city (even though i've been there a lot before), new apartment (for the second time this year), new school and...yeah, new everything. nerves and more nerves.

22.5.14

:(

this! Winona speaks...

23.4.14

quotes to live by - or reflect over - part I (thanks tumblr...as usual)

'Never forget what a person says to you when they are angry.' - Henry Ward Beecher

'A true friend stabs you in the front.' - Oscar Wilde

'Not everyone you lose is a loss' - unknown

'How odd, I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.' - D F Wallace

'I notice everything, I just act like i don't.' - unknown

'She's mad but she's magic' - Charles Bukowski

15.4.14

Lana-cleaning

one shall not write when one is pissed off or irritated. *pauses*

ok, so i've been cleaning pretty much the whole apartment today. that was not the thing i was irritated about, though. feels good to have it kinda neat. organized chaos. clean chaos.

i'm in a Lana-state of mind today, been going through both her albums and various 'cut' songs, demos and, i pressume, upcoming album-songs.

fuck i love the cover of Chelsea Hotel. 'I need you. I don't need you.', Black Beauty and TV in black and white, not to mention Young and Beautiful (still), Bel Air, Dark Paradise (forever my fav) and Gods & Monsters. damn, that woman is beyond fantastic.

10.4.14

awh, Britt...

when people ask me what i see/saw in Brittany Murphy i just don't know what to tell them. I mean...duuuh! her smile/laughter alone could melt the iceberg that Titanic hit.

9.4.14

the greatest thing i have ever read...on tumblr.

“Act my age?
What the fuck is that, “act my age”?
What do I care how young or old I am?
The Ocean is old as fuck.
It will still drown your ass with vigor.”